I AIN’T AFRAID OF NO COWS!

Prompted recently by a question of whether I am a leader and can take a problem by the horns and find a solution, I began to laugh. I usually think of myself as a soft-spoken, polite but passionate, introvert, southern girl, UNTIL you put me on the softball field or volleyball court or…in an emergency situation. I was reminded of years ago when our son was 15. We were driving home on a four-lane road when we came over a hill and in our lane were two cows who apparently escaped the adjacent fenced acres. I’ve never seen cows within those thousands of wooded acres but could always hear them from a distance. On this particular day, I almost crashed into one! And, more cows were watching ready to cross the broken fence.

Well, in my quick thinking and fearless experience with cows (NOT!), I put my SUV in park, jumped out yelling to Aaron to drive it to the median and put the flashers on. I called 911 as I began slowly walking to the lead cow. I laugh as I write this because, well y’all, I have done this twice now where I snapped into cowgirl-mode to save the day! Anyway, picture me on the phone with 911 and at the SAME time talking to the cows in a deep voice like my cattle-rancher grandpa, “Git on! Git on! Back up! Git on…” The police said they knew their owner and would contact him immediately. Waiting for the farmer while cars veered not to hit us, I kept talking to these two cows with my arms stretched out trying to keep them from going further onto the road. Now, I’m not stupid. Not really. I knew that stubborn lead cow had ATTITUDE all up in her eyes and could totally walk over me. But I ain’t afraid of no cows! So, in my deep, controlling voice, I began saying to her, “You better not even think about it. Don’t. Even. Think. About. It. Git on, now. Git on.” (I make myself laugh!)

A man in a pickup came over the hill and saw me, parked, and jumped out to help. He asked, “You called this in?” I replied, “Yep!” WAIT! WHAT?!!! All of a sudden, I sound like Barney Fife! He proceeded to grab a rope from his truck bed and said, “I’m gonna lasso this one.” I told him, “That’s not a good idea, Sir. That girl is full of attitude!” So, he began to gently swat her with the rope and help guide her back toward the fence. 

Within minutes, men in two other pickups arrived from the farm and took over herding their cattle back toward the broken fence. I said my goodbye and got back in my SUV with my son and headed home.

As my cowgirl attitude fizzled away, I looked over at Aaron who was staring at me, and we busted up laughing. I’m sure he could not wait to tell Leo what I had done and how goofy I sounded. But, for me, I was actually proud of myself and also astonished that I just jumped out there and took care of things. All I kept thinking was, these are COWS and someone is going to get killed coming over that hill. So, I did SOMETHING until help arrived and it felt great!

The second time I snapped into cowgirl-mode was a few years ago on my way to work and cows were coming out of a break in a fence and heading casually across the narrow winding road. This time, I didn’t dare get out of my Pathfinder, but rather used it to herd the cattle back across the road. Apparently, I’m not a good herder because the cows chose a different path and went into the property of a landscaping business, but I didn’t care. As I called 911 and waited for assistance, I positioned my SUV at the entrance to block them in. Imagine how funny it was to see men running out of the warehouse watching the cows trot by and then looking at me as though I caused this mess. Imagine also the call to my boss telling him why I was going to be a little late!

So, what’s the moral of the story? There is none. But, am I a leader? Yes, in the right situations and definitely when needed. Can I take a problem by the horns and find a solution? You darn right, I can! Now…how to put that on my job application…

DON’T UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF! The world does enough of that for you.