A Mom’s Song

My sisters and I recently surprised our mother for her birthday this past May. The first time it was “just us” in about 30 years! South Louisiana. Two parents. Three daughters. And some wonderful memories! And though two of us drove from Nashville and one from Houston, we managed, while driving, to write and rehearse a birthday song about our mother. A challenging feat because there are so many dynamics to her personality—she’s what I describe as “the whole box of crayons.”  

One of her many gifts is her passion and talent for singing. She sang on the radio as a young woman, always in church choirs, community choirs, participated in musicals and directed some. But it was the “living life musicals” that impacted me the most.

Some of my best memories are of my mother singing while sewing. As a child, I would make myself comfy by her feet and eventually fall asleep to the sound of her voice. I recall mornings getting ready for school and hearing her sing the old classics. Oh, how I quickly came to love them! And I remember all of the car rides and road trips singing songs as a family that seemed endless—songs we have passed on to our children and now grandchildren.

MAKING A HARD RIGHT TURN:  After the crash and seeing our Meagan ripped away from this life before my eyes, I battled life. No, I battled living! Though I still struggle, it was the first three years that my soul could not bear my pain. I was in an all-out pursuit of GOD and answers. I shut out the world and most all of my friends and pursued my Father with distressed tenacity like someone dropped in the desert and literally dying for a drop of water! HE was and is my only hope, and I knew it! But I needed HIM, His Word, His voice, His grace, and mercy MORE THAN water! And HE was faithful to meet me.

As I shut out my friends, I also shut out my family. I could not handle being alive. I reclused myself and came up infrequently to text or talk to any of them. I knew I was hurting them, but I had nothing to give. I tried texting and the occasional call to family, but it was not enough, yet it was all I had. And then my mom began doing something that for me was inspired by God. Beyond her voice messages of love, prayer, and encouragement, she began to leave messages of her singing. With my phone pressed hard to my ear, I would listen over and over and over, dozens of times a day, to my mom’s recorded voice. Softly singing, always broken as though singing through tears, her voice would carry me to a safe place. One of the messages she couldn’t manage words, so she hummed “Amazing Grace” through tears!!! I have never heard of such a thing! Only my mom!

Mom, though you may read this, and it stir emotions for you as it does for me, you will never know what gift you have given me with the gift of music, the gift of song, the gift of your voice. I managed to save three messages and will continue to rest in them when I need my momma’s hugs. GOD uses you often to “settle my soul.”

I love you, Momma. I love you MORE…

Daughter #3