DREAM A DREAM

I enjoy silence. I sit in its presence often trying to find the proper, biblical places to file my thoughts; seeking peace for things that have scarred me; searching for tranquility in my soul for things that have brought trauma. I pursue silence more than I pursue most anything else because it often calms the battle within. "...seek peace and pursue it." Psalm 34:14 and Isaiah 30:15 "in repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength..."

Recently in this quiet time, a thought came like many—unexpected and unwelcomed. A thought I brushed aside as frivolous. But then the thought came back this week ushered by what I feel was a holy whisper, "Where are your dreams, Rebecca?" Tugging at my heart relentlessly, "Where are your dreams?" And as though a window was blown open, I realized my heart has been empty of dreams, of hopes, for years, except one—the constant longing for heaven and seeing my Savior and my Meagan.

I used to be so filled with hopes and dreams. As a young girl, my parents had music playing through our home much more than TV. It was quite common, and still is, for my dad to get up from what he was reading or working on, walk over to my mom, take her hand, and lead her into a dance where they disappeared into their world of two. Partners. Lovers. And I watched and dreamed...

I had big dreams of getting married, traveling the world with my children, having a sanctuary for animals I would rescue, a ranch where children of all backgrounds could enjoy the majestic creatures of horses that I love so dearly. But pain has replaced the things I once longed for. 

Tragedies have such an impact on one's life and can completely alter the way things used to be. For many like me, they can rob some of your most precious treasures, and imprison dreams you cherished. You tend to live one day at a time, depending greatly on His grace to make it one day at a time. Thoughts of the future can be overwhelming, so you stay in "today."

But I've been dwelling on this "whispered word" for days now, and how important it is that we dream. What kind of life is it without hopes? Who really wants to just exist watching the sun rise and fall, rise, and fall? When we meet a child, why do we so often ask what they want to be when they grow up? Could it be because there is a part of us that wants to share in that dream; be a part of something innocent that hasn't been tainted or crushed by society; to see for even a moment through the eyes of a child again; to dream sometimes the impossible! Personally, I think God enjoys the dreams of children, and personally, I think He embraces many of them.

Our oldest daughter Meagan was so keenly aware that she had big dreams. She writes, "Lord, if there is one thing I know I can do well, it's dream big...Father, I know You have given me a heart that dreams big, and I know You want those dreams for my life. (Well, at least the ones that line up with Your will, of course.) But I also know that the dreams You Yourself have for my life are MORE than I could imagine."  Amen!!

"I HAVE A DREAM..." Why is this passionate speech of Martin Luther King so engraved in history and so beloved? Possibly because it inspires hope and causes us to want to make a difference.

Dreams drive us to our goals. Hopefully through prayer and obedience, dreams fulfill purposes that God has set before us. I'm reminded of Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Hopes, filtered through His Word, give us purpose.

This is all a process for me. The first step is realizing I've been awakened to a missing part of me. The second step is giving My Redeemer access to revive my heart and make a way for new hopes. The old may have died, but HE has hopes for my future! Put me back on your workbench, Lord. I will be still. I will be silent.

I think often of my hurting friends, and how you have suffered the toils of this life. Maybe you might want to join me on His workbench.  If you listen, you might hear His whisper as I did, "Dream...Hope..."