SEEN

The drive-up window at the pharmacy today was busy, so I went inside. The counter was also busy, but I stood in line. After a few minutes, the gentleman that had been sitting in the adjacent waiting area stood up. It was obvious by his conspicuous stance that he felt the need to make himself known, seen by pharmacy staff. With the busyness and passing of time, customers coming and going, he obviously felt overlooked. As I watched him, the thought occurred to me…

Isn’t that how we often feel with God? Sometimes we feel forgotten. Left waiting. As though we were benched, and the coach forgot to put us back in the game. It often seems, depending on where we are in our faith journeys, that we are patient until others pass us up.

Have you ever punished your child and forgot them in the corner or bedroom? Or were you that child? What a horrible feeling either way at the time. Maybe you can laugh about it now, but at the time it wasn’t so funny.

Well, God doesn’t forget. He is not like this world. He does not lose track of who and when and what His intentions are. While we are waiting, He is working (John 5:17). His Word says that He is not a respecter of persons and shows no partiality (Acts 10:34-35; Galatians 3:28); and if we love Jesus, then we are God’s children (John 1:12; Romans 8:16; 1 John 3:1-10). He promises He will never leave us nor forsake us. Just because He has us waiting, does not mean He will forget us. But sometimes that is just not how it looks. Sometimes we feel passed over. Unseen. And sometimes we sit in our chair of self-pity and watch others through a horribly selfish lens. 

Our dog is a simple example of my point. Caj is 100 pounds of love. Since Leo was the one that literally rescued him from a dying situation, Caj has attached to Leo with little regard to me. Consequently, any time Leo leaves the house, he must leave Caj with his mission: “Wait for me! If anyone tries to hurt Rebecca, you ‘get’em!’ Okay? Wait for me!” And with that, Caj visibly shifts gears from separation anxiety to waiting. On occasion, I have literally called Leo back home because he forgot the magic words and left me with a whining, desperate, depressed dog. Otherwise, Caj is content in his waiting. Waiting with excitement to see his buddy, his savior. Caj totally gets it!

There is a hope and anticipation to be had when you know you are charged with waiting. One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 130:5-6, “I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.” I love that scripture so much that I made it a song. It encourages me when I find myself on the journey of waiting. It reminds me to wait for my Lord with expectation and assurance.

The bottom line is we do not have a clue what God is doing in the heavenlies. Sadly, we usually default to what we see with our eyes. Sometimes we are in the line of people coming and going, moving and doing, and that feels great for our egos. But other times waiting is our journey. How comfortable and patient I would be all day in that waiting chair—if I know I am seen. To which His Word quickly reminds me, He is El Roi, “the God Who sees” (Genesis 16:13). We are never unseen or abandoned by God (Deuteronomy 31:6; Matthew 28:20). What hope that promise alone should give us! Waiting requires courage and discipline (Psalm 27:14). It is not a passive feat. Waiting takes tenacity and assurance. Waiting is an active posture. Waiting is a mindset that we are fully known and fully seen.

If you are on a current journey of waiting, disconnect yourself from all the what ifs and maybes. See beyond the busyness around you and focus on what you can learn in the waiting. Forget those passing you up, and remember it is just as important to be waiting. And, as we wait, it is up to us to “be still and know” (Psalm 46:10; Exodus 14:13-14).

(If I could only be like our dog.)

WATCH FOR HIS FINGERPRINTS

I woke up today as every day with Reality in my face and my urge to barrage the Lord with all of my “whys.” And, just like most every day, He gently quiets my soul and reminds me He is sovereign, He is faithful, and He has me. This morning, I am reminded of His ever-present fingerprints…sometimes hidden within my pain; sometimes as bright as the morning sun, like this one:

Meagan was convinced she had to have a particular costly designer watch that she had her eyes on for weeks. Many of her co-workers seemed to be in on it and I soon found myself outnumbered as she caressed the watch in my presence. Knowing she could sway her dad, we got him on the phone, and, of course, he said buy it if she wants it. So that Christmas, Meagan had one gift under our tree—the elegant, small-faced, bronze watch she said was made just for her.  It was beautiful as she was, and just as unique.

It was now spring when Meagan called and said she needed to talk with me and her dad. She told us that she had been laboring over something for two months. Something she was certain God put on her heart. A clear directive as if whispered into her ears while she literally felt a pat on her leg. He whispered the words, “It’s time.”

For two months, Meagan pressed God for more specifics. Yet, He gave her only this, she was to move from Nashville where she had lived her whole life to the Chicago-burbs where we were living at the time. She was certain that she heard His voice, and that this was a call to obedience, and felt confident that God would reveal “the why” once she made the move. She writes about this spiritual quest in her journal.  

So, she moved to the Chicago-burbs. Nine months after her move, Meagan and I prepared for the road trip that forever altered the dynamics of our family. This was a quick trip back to Nashville to see her newly married younger sister, and brother. Before leaving, she got in my face to clarify, “So no surprises, right? This is a jeans and sandals trip?” I confirmed, “Yes, a jeans and sandals trip. Going there and coming right back.” With that, I was surprised to see her come downstairs with only a tote bag and all in less than five minutes! 

The next night on our return home when our lives intersected with a drunk driver’s poor choice, and Meagan’s life was taken, I was utterly lost, confused, disoriented spiritually. I felt God had abandoned me, but I also believed, as we had prayed, that God holds all things in His sovereign hands, and nothing happens without His approval or intervention. Yet, I was lost, and my heart completely shattered.

After the crash and home from the hospital, our youngest daughter Melody brought Meagan’s cherished designer watch to me knowing I would want to put it up for safekeeping. I decided to wear it—as a way to be near Meagan. My sisters and Mom were with me as I sobbed over the watch and missing my Meagan. Then suddenly, I began gasping for air and crying, “Take it off! Please take it off! Take is off!” This is all I could manage to communicate in my shock as I tried desperately to remove the watch from my wrist! My sister Zoe quickly unclasped it and hugged me asking what was going on. I could barely speak. I was a mess of jumbled words and emotions as I tried to point out that her watch (the watch Meagan chose not to wear on this “jeans and sandals trip” and intentionally left behind) had stopped at the exact minute of her death!! Her watch that she left in her bedroom stopped as she took her last breath. 4:18. Meagan’s favorite watch forever paused on 4:18—the delicate crystal face marking her transformation from this life into eternal life with The Father.

We didn’t know what to do with this, but it did not take long for Leo and me to agree that God saw fit that we, as her parents, would be in need of a huge spiritual fingerprint to confirm that Meagan’s death was no surprise to Him and that He even foreknew the exact time of her death.

Our Great God is not confined by time. As for God, we cannot box Him in by the boundaries of time; yet, He does use time because we are creatures captured by it. I share this story of God’s sovereignty, of how it impacted Meagan and consequently Leo and me, but also to challenge you as we have been challenged, to inspire you, to hopefully break down some spiritual walls, and to ultimately give Him glory. 

God revealed His sovereignty in many ways during our tragedy over the years, this is only one. But, as I look at today and wonder “why,” I am reminded that HE is GOD and He is in control, and I am not. He does not owe us any explanations. Though He loves us, some things are not for us to know, and some things require trust and faith—two very difficult choices, daily choices. What is God trying to show you today? Do you see His fingerprints in your life? Whether storm or calm, He speaks. And if you are in a time of waiting—remember, He is also in the waiting. 

“My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of My Father’s hand.” John 10:27-29 (NIV)

“All the days ordained for me
were written in Your book
before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:16(NIV)

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)

Tag. You’re it.